To which, I promise to do better and make decisions in line with our shared goals. Thank you for being honest and yet gentle with me, and for telling me the things I need to know though not necessarily the things I want to hear. I am so thankful to you, my precious Cheryl, for supporting me endlessly and complementing me wonderfully. You help to strengthen the areas that I am weak in, and empower me to be a better version of myself.
What I learned when my wife left
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her.
Her children rise up and call her blessed. You are far more than just an excellent wife. You are a wonderful mother, caring daughter, supportive friend, and faithful worker. Qin Yao is married happily with a bubbly child. He enjoys reading and teaching in his free time. When a wife has the love and affirmation of her husband, and he has her respect and support, their marriage will thrive in exciting ways.
Discover how you can bring your relationship to a greater level with Marriage Builders! To my beloved wife, Cheryl, You often say that I am stingy with my praise and words of affirmation, so I hope you hear my heart in this letter. You have shown utmost dedication as a mother. You are the bridge between me and my family. You support my work and outside endeavours. Thank you for holding the fort at home. You are my most wonderful partner. I assumed that all was well because I was really not paying attention to how things tasted.
I have heard people talk about being left with a bad taste in their mouth. Nothing has ever given me a more bitter taste than realizing my marriage had crumbled and I could do nothing to salvage it. Had I paid more attention to making it sweet or savoury, instead of bland and dull, I could have made it better. I confess that I quit doing sweet things for my wife the way I used to when we courted.
I could have spiced things up with fun surprises, stimulating conversations or shared passions, but I did not.
This reminds me of when Jesus says to the church in Revelation "So, because you are lukewarm — neither hot nor cold — I am about to spit you out of My mouth! One last thing I realized after she packed her bags was how I had failed to notice and appreciate all the things she did for me. I knew she did a lot of things to make our home and lives run smoothly, but once she was gone and I was left to do everything myself, I really began to recognize all that she had contributed.
My Husband and I Don't Have Sex Anymore - The Atlantic
How rarely had I said "thank you" that there was always food in the house, that she kept our social calendar straight, that she remembered birthdays for my family, that she baked my favourite pie, that she shared duties like laundry and cooking, making beds and washing windows with me? Though we tried to have an equal division of labour, I was noticing that there was a lot left undone when she was gone.
I should have been much more grateful and have told her so more often! In spite of her efforts to help me see this, I missed it.
She tried — she really did. Now she did have some issues of her own, but I believe that if I had been paying more attention to her and to our relationship, rather than all the things that seemed more important at the time, neither of us would have had to experience the pain that our failed marriage caused us. The harder road for me has been to take stock of what I missed, own my failures, receive forgiveness from God — if not my wife — and prepare to move forward in His grace.
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Themes covered Marriage Divorce. Failure to hear Since she walked out, I have realized that she tried to tell me, many times and in many ways, that she was unhappy. Failure to see I can see now that I missed all sorts of signs that things were not good. Failure to touch To be fair, I did notice that our sex life was not what it used to be.
Failure to taste One of the great pleasures of tasting food is enjoying the differences between sweet, savoury, sour and so on. Failure to "wake up and smell the roses" One last thing I realized after she packed her bags was how I had failed to notice and appreciate all the things she did for me.